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  An Old Story

·YXX 发表于 2007-4-9 23:52:00

 
比较老套的一个故事,但因为情在,总能触动人心。
 
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. I started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.
 
"I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested. "I know, but you also love her."
 
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked.
 
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.
 
She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."
 
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
 
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. 
 
During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
 
A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. At that moment I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
 
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time".

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  Re:An Old Story

·honsty(游客)发表评论于2008-3-21 21:21:00

很想跟爸妈搞好关系,但就是找不到合适的方式。
朋友劝我跟爸妈多交流,尽力去做。结果是,谈的时间长了,又出现了分歧,不欢而散。
知道他们的不易,他们也了解我的难处,可就是无法很好的沟通。
还有爷爷奶奶外婆他们,很想陪他们好好说说话,可每次谈话不超过一分钟。心里挺难过的,不过什么都改变不了。
这是不是所谓的代沟?
老师可有这方面的妙招,可否拿出来分享一下?

以下为blog主人的回复:
没什么“妙招”可言,因为一直以来也没有觉得和父母及祖辈交流需要策略,只是一个很自然的过程。

我在家呆的时间挺少;也难免有观点不一致的时候,但不足以到“冲突”的程度,我一般会迁就爸爸妈妈,因为他们总是善意的、为了我好。

不过,宽容和迁就很多时候限于同他们的交谈过程中,并不一定真的影响自己的行事作风,若觉得自己的想法没有过错,私下仍然坚持就可以了;只是一定要忌讳在言辞上表现得过分激烈、坚持己见或强加于人。这样,既能让爸爸妈妈觉得我们是尊重、理解他们的,也不会委屈了自己。

你心里能那样想,应该是挺懂事的一个人。如果刻意的交流无法达到你所预期的效果,就从最基本最普通的谈话做起,宽容地对待你的父母,虚心地接受他们的建议(至少让他们觉得你接受了,呵呵...),但不要强迫他们接受你的观点(因为这一点暂时十分得困难)。

和祖辈谈的内容似乎挺受限制的。我现在只剩爷爷了,他平时爱好就是看报和看CCTV-5,那我就和他聊些新闻什么的。他呢,就问问我的工作啊生活啊(我每次回家他问的都是差不多同样的问题,呵呵...老人么,都这样的)。我想,你就是只和你的爷爷奶奶外婆他们光同坐着,不用你先开口说话,他们要说的东西多着呢。你不要嫌枯燥烦闷,耐心倾听和回答就是了。

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